Humping to the Music

Sniff, sniff, tears roll down cheeks, more sniffing, blows nose in Kleenex, more tears, wipes eyes, wash, rinse, repeat.

We’re not going on our trip to the Smokey Mountain National Park. We’re not going to Georgia to visit our long time friends that we haven’t seen in 20 years. We’re just not going. I’m so disappointed. I’ve looked forward to a trip to this location for over a year and now we’re not going.

We’re supposed to be retired!! Doesn’t that mean you plan your own destiny and do what you want when you want? I got news for all of you – that doesn’t happen. There have been too many things happen this spring that have gotten in the way of taking this trip. I won’t even go into all of them, but they have been important enough that we had to stay home and take care of them. The latest, and the one that made us throw up our hands and just give up, is a surprise birthday party. Very long time Buddy Don, who worked with Ole for 28 years, is turning 60 this year and his wife is planning a surprise birthday party for him. Don and Ole are just like brothers, so we just couldn’t miss this party. After all, you only turn 60 once, and Ole needs to plan a good roast. So that’s scheduled for the middle of May, and yes, we could go after that for several weeks, but we’ve already got commitments scheduled for the beginning of June. We just can’t win. Maybe it’s like I always tell my daughter – everything happens for a reason, and there’s a reason that we aren’t supposed to go on this trip.

We had decided the price of diesel fuel wasn’t going to be the deciding factor as to whether we travel or not, but honestly, every time I thought about filling that tank with $4.09 diesel, I almost wanted to throw up.

Okay, now that I’m done feeling sorry for myself and expecting all of you to also – on to another subject.

This sounds really gossipy, but just wait till you hear this!!

Last Friday night was karaoke down at the Watering Hole, and of course Jane was holding court with all her paparazzi, as usual. Ole and Carol and I sat at a different table not being included nor wanting to be included in her group. Then Pat & George and Lou & Burl showed up and joined us. The evening went on and everyone was having fun when a local man by the name of Kerry showed up. He’s a single man in his late 40s or early 50s, a very handsome outdoorsy man. And it’s quite apparent that he has the “hots” for Lee, one of Jane’s friends. It was also quite obvious that Jane had the “hots” for Kerry. She hung on his every word all evening and followed him around like a puppy making google eyes.

The time came for Pat & Lou to go out back to have a cigarette, and as they were about to open the back door they got a real eyeful. Pat came rushing back inside to get me telling me that if I really wanted to see something I better come now. I rushed to the back door, peaked through the screen and there lay Jane on her back on the picnic table with Kerry on top of her with a crowd standing around cheering. They were fully clothed, but (for lack of a better word) humping in rhythm to the music. They put on quite a show for the three minutes that the song ran. And Dick was back inside, visiting with someone else without a clue as to what his wife was doing out back. Icky, icky, icky.

Am I too old school? Too old fashioned? Too out of touch? What happened to self-respect? Is there no such thing anymore?