Whupping Up on an Old Bat

I lied. I said I wasn’t going to whip that dead horse anymore, so I won’t. I’ll take Yvonne’s advice and whup up on an Old Bat!! Guess who – you’re right – Jane – AGAIN!

Dick and Jane left for their daughter’s on Friday late afternoon after Jane got home from work. Prior to their leaving, Dick stopped over at Bob and Carol’s house just to kind of vent. I guess he was pretty down in the dumps, but looking forward to his weekend away. Wonder if Jane ever told him that their daughter didn’t WANT them to come??

Anyway, Dick told them that Jane had ended up in the Emergency Room on Wednesday afternoon – she thought she was having a heart attack. After all the appropriate tests were administered, she was told she definitely was NOT having a heart attack, and after much questioning, the doctor determined that she was having an anxiety attack. Pain in the chest, rapid pulse and heart palpitations. I guess the doctor talked to her about her stress level, and that’s when she unloaded on the doc and Dick about her confrontation with me. Guess where that puts me? In the Blame Seat, of course, at least in Jane’s mind. Heaven forbid that Jane take any responsibility for her actions.

When Dick was confiding in Bob and Carol, Carol said she explained to Dick how friends in general feel about Jane and her antics. Dick said he is well aware of her actions but there’s nothing he can do about it. She’s just out of control. They’ve lost several friends in the past because of Jane’s personality defects. I think she needs some kind of behavior counseling or modification classes or something. But of course you’ll never convince HER of that.

Anyway, we’re not having a birthday party for Dick as such, but we decided to go ahead and have a fire in the fire pit on Sunday evening. I left a message on Dick and Jane’s answering machine – so we’ll see if they come or not when they get back from their daughter’s house.

There was karaoke at The Local Watering Hole last night. And it was SO MUCH FUN – small crowd and everyone commented on how relaxed an evening it was because Jane wasn’t there. Something has got to be done about this woman – she spoils EVERYONE’s fun.

Whipping a Dead Horse

I’m SO GLAD you guys are so patient with me and are willing to listen to my bitching and whining. The feedback I’ve gotten from you over the last couple of days has made me feel much better. Sometimes I feel like I’m WAY OUT THERE over this Jane issue and maybe I’m not tolerant enough or something. I try to be patient and compassionate, but the only thing THAT does is allows her to be more aggressive in her behavior. Everyone else in The Circle seems to either be able to ignore her or they’re scared of her – I don’t know which. Maybe some of each.

I really had to chuckle at some of the comments that were left. BoXX called Jane a “single serving friend,” which was an EXCELLENT description, but much kinder than I would have been. KitchenLogic wants to come visit and watch Jane in action. She’s looking for entertainment and says “Reality Dysfunction is Real Time” is exactly what she needs right now. You guys are just TOO funny. Ladybug said she can’t imagine how ANYTHING Jane said wouldn’t be bitchy. And she’s right. Jane has a voice that is, for lack of a better word, tinny and screechy and is high pitched so it just kind of goes through you whenever she talks. And the more upset she gets the louder it is, which seems to be most of the time.

Now I hate to beat a dead horse, but I guess at this point a few more whacks won’t hurt. (Just a figure of speech, Yvonne, I love horses too.) Anyway, back to Jane.

You all seem to have picked up on the control issues that she has. Here’s a very sad story that she told me very shortly after I got acquainted with her. It seems that way back when Dick and Jane were first married and had one child that was at the babysitter’s, it was Dick’s responsibility to pick their son up after work. I don’t know at what point this was, but Dick apparently had a very short-lived affair with the babysitter. I guess he and Jane were having problems at the time (does that surprise you?) Apparently they got things worked out and went on with their married life. Now – 24 years later – she told me that she still holds it over his head and doesn’t let him forget it. She TOLD me she still uses that as leverage in their relationship!! TO THIS DAY!! Now I’m not advocating affairs either way – I’ve never been in a situation where I felt I needed to have one nor have I ever thought about it. I’m not saying I’ve never been upset with Ole, because that would be a lie. But if one partner has an affair and things get worked out – shouldn’t you just go on with life? That’s water under the bridge, isn’t it? Maybe I’m WAY off in this department. I’m sure that if your partner has an affair there’s a very deep hurt that takes time and effort to get over, and I’m sure is never forgotten. But to use it as leverage after 24 years is a bit much, I think.

And then there’s Jane’s lack of confidentiality. You never want to tell her ANYTHING that you don’t want blabbed all over town. She and Dick are fairly good friends with neighbors of theirs, Sam and Donna. Sam is a nice guy, Donna a bit more stand-off-ish, but still nice. Sam loves to come down to the Watering Hole and sing karaoke, and he’s quite good. The bar scene just isn’t Donna’s thing, so she doesn’t go. And that’s fine, it’s just not for everybody. But Jane criticizes Donna up one side and down the other for not being down at the bar with Sam. Jane is big into karaoke (even though she sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard) and frequently closes up the bar on karaoke nights (2 a.m.) Usually by this time Dick has gone home by himself and that leaves Sam and Jane to walk the three blocks home together. Sam has made the big mistake of confiding in Jane way too many personal issues – you know what alcohol does to one’s mouth at times. It has a tendency to open it up and all kinds of words come tumbling out that the next morning you wish hadn’t come out. So shortly after I got to know Jane she filled me in on Sam’s whole personal life – that he’d been having an affair, several to be exact, and even who with. His “partners” were all local women, several of whom attended karaoke regularly. Now how long is it going to take before all these words that Jane spews are going to get back to Sam’s wife, Donna? Or dare I put THIS out there? Do you suppose Jane and Sam are either getting it on or have in the past?

And the one thing I’ve learned about Jane is that much of what she tells you has been “enhanced.” So the basics may be true, but a lot of the details have been refurbished. But I guess that puts her “in the know” and makes her more important than anyone else.

This woman is one sick puppy.

Oh yes – about Dick’s birthday on Saturday. I talked to my friend, Carol, last night, who had witnessed a phone call between Jane and her daughter. The daughter that Dick and Jane want to go visit for the weekend. The daughter that lives a hundred miles away. The daughter DOESN’T WANT them to come for the weekend!! But I guess they’re going ANYWAY!!

Okay – I promise I won’t whip that poor horse anymore today.

Love you guys - Lena

The Ugly Story

Second entry of the day.

After my last entry, where I was pretty bitchy and whiny, I need to clarify some things. Thanks to those of you who commented as I really need another "take" on this situation.

You tried to look at things from Jane's point of view, which I appreciate. But you also said, not knowing Jane puts you at a disadvantage.

Read HERE about Jane and my history with her. I'll start you at the beginning and when you reach the bottom of the entry click on the "next" button to follow through. After you've read these entries (there's only 5 or 6) then come back and give me your opinion again. I'd appreciate it.

Thanks much and here's the link: The Ugly Story

I'm Pissed Off - Time for a Bitch Session

Okay – time for a bitch session. I’m really pissed off. Guess at whom? Her initials are JANE!!

Dick’s birthday is this coming Saturday, and usually Dick is never around for his birthday. He LOVES going up to the Boundary Waters in Minnesota and spending time, so usually treats himself to that trip over his birthday. This year, for some reason, he’s not going, so this is one of the first birthdays in many years that he’s been around.

About 10 days ago the subject of Dick’s birthday came up and several of us gals asked Jane if she was planning anything being Dick was going to be home. Her answer was, “What for – this isn’t one of the BIG ones.” Okay – so it’s not one of the BIG ones – it doesn’t end in a zero. So what.

Last Monday night when Ole and I were together with Bob and Carol down at The Local Watering Hole we were discussing the fact that Dick’s birthday was coming and that Jane wasn’t planning anything. We all came to the conclusion that we should have some kind of a gathering for Dick. Bob’s comment was, “Dick is SUCH a nice guy and does so many nice things for everyone, if anybody deserves a party, it’s Dick.” So I volunteered our backyard and fire pit for the location, and Carol said she’d help get everything going.

Following this discussion at The Watering Hole Jane showed up, but not Dick as he was off busy doing something else. Carol and I broached the subject to Jane about having a get-together on Saturday night, kind of a potluck thing and BYOB. She was very noncommittal, wouldn’t answer one way or the other. As we were leaving Carol said to me, “You find out what the scoop is, whether or not they’ll come and let me know tomorrow. My mother makes and decorates cakes, so if this is a go I’ll have her do a cake.”

Tuesday morning I e-mailed Jane and said, “If Carol and I get something going for Saturday night can we count on you and Dick to be there?”

THIS is the response I got back:

I still haven't had a chance to talk to Dick about this weekend. After all it IS only Tuesday and so far this is the first weekend in a long time that hasn't already been planned for us. But if you're planning this thing around (or for) his birthday I guess I WILL have to make sure we're in town on Saturday night. And, BY THE WAY, just because I hadn’t planned anything for his birthday as of yet, didn’t mean that I was going to let it go completely un-noticed. I would think you’d know better than that. I just don’t plan for months in advance, sometime the more spontaneous the better. I may have even had an "impromptu" picnic too.


I emailed her back and told her that we would just let it go then. They should go ahead with whatever plans they had.

The next thing I know my phone is ringing and the caller ID identified the call as Jane’s office. I knew if I answered the phone I would say something I would regret later so I just didn’t answer.

A minute later I got another email from her; “Are you pissed? I never said we COULDN’T do it, I just said I’d have to SEE.”

My response: “It’s totally understandable that you may have plans and haven’t pinned anything down yet. No problem there. What I do have a problem with is the attitude that came across in the email. After all, it IS an email and if you didn’t truly want it to sound bitchy – it’s changeable. And yes, it did sound pretty bitchy. After discussion a The Watering Hole last night among the four of us, it was kind of a general consensus that we would like to do something nice for Dick because he does so many nice things for everyone else. So that was our reasoning – not because we wanted to formulate plans and out-do you or plan something before you got a chance to. It was just a thought and we were just trying to do something nice.

Then I got a phone call from her on her cell and I didn’t recognize the number so I picked up. There she was in all her glory trying to sidestep her snotty attitude with all kinds of excuses, etc. She asked if we couldn’t do this gathering on Sunday night instead. By this time I was so put out with her I just didn’t want to be bothered anymore so I told her it wouldn’t fit our schedule. Her response was, “Okay, then I’ll just call Bob and Carol and make plans with them, then. We’ll have a party and you won’t be invited being you’re too busy.”

Now – here’s the issue. I’m definitely not upset about the fact that they may have had plans for the weekend. What I AM pissed off about is the snotty attitude Jane displayed throughout this whole scenario. Or am I reading things into her replies that aren’t there?

Feedback, anyone? Please???

Ole Flies the Coop & Daisy Gets Busted

I've been abandoned!! Ole is gone!!

But it's really okay - he just went down to the State Fair grounds in St. Paul for the weekend where the Minnesota Street Rod Association hosts the Annual Back to the 50's Weekend. He left on Thursday so he would have plenty of time to see ALL the cars. Lovely Daughter and the New Man left on Friday night to meet up with him, so you see I TRULY am alone with the exception of the grand doggers. AND IT'S WONDERFUL!! No schedules to keep, no meals to cook, no messes to clean up after everyone else. I LOVE it.

Ole has attended every Back to the 50's event since Lovely Daughter was two years old - and she's 31 now, so that's a lot of events. I used to go religiously, like a good wife, but after all those years I just kind of got burned out. Three years ago I drove my own car down so that I wouldn't have to stay on the fairgrounds the entire time. Ole drove the 1929 Model A (with a souped up engine of course). It took me TWO HOURS to find a parking spot in the parking lot and then Ole came and picked me up in the Model A so we could drive onto the fairgrounds. I was so frustrated I said I'd never drive my own car down there again. I think there were only 12,000 cars registered that year. 12,000 cars, with an average of two people per car, plus all the walk-on spectators that attend makes for a lot of cars and a lot of people on the fairgrounds. So many it's almost impossible to move on the fairgrounds on Saturday afternoons, let alone manage to drive your car anywhere.

So the next year I opted to ride down with him in the Model A. Now THAT was a big mistake. The Model A has a very short wheelbase, which means you only hit the tops of all the bumps on the interstate between here and Minneapolis. It's like riding in a cartoon car - if you can imagine that. And the only air conditioning available is to open the front window, which operates on hinges from the top. And it just HAPPENED to be over a hundred degrees that weekend!! That's when I decided I wasn't going to do THAT again either!

Here's his little sweetheart - designed and built by Ole from the ground up. He's gotten a lot of awards for this little buggy when he's entered it in some fairly large car shows. The first year he received the Builder of the Year award, which is quite prestigious for you non-car-aficionados.

So anyway, the next year (last year) I decided not to go and Lovely Daughter went along. There's only room for one passenger besides the driver unless you want to ride in the rumble seat, and that gets a bit on the breezy side. It's just like riding on the Harley for getting bugs in your teeth!!

Well, Lovely Daughter is built a lot like I am - somewhat well-endowed on the top half. Sorry guys if that's TMI but that's the way it is. Anyway, she took off with her Dad on a Friday morning, made it fifteen miles down the road and discovered that the only way to ride the rest of the way was to fold her arms under her boobage and hang on tight!! The "bumps and grinds" of the little car were causing her pain. So this year she decided to take her own vehicle too - much smoother ride (less pain) and besides that it has AC.

I told Ole he needs some kind of a sling hanging from the roof of the car if he intends to have female passengers ride with him for any distance. Men just don't get it, do they?

So I've spent the weekend dog sitting the grand doggers. I'm sure they're quite bored with me as they're used to being outside all the time with Ole. I did spend about six hours outside yesterday futzing around in the backyard just so they could be outside. But Daisy ended up being a very bad girl. Beau stayed right with me and would on occasion wander off to check out a rabbit or bird or some such thing.

Beau is very possessive of all of us and when he's outside is constantly checking on each of us. He makes the rounds, runs up and gives you a lick and then goes on to the next one. He's also VERY protective when a stranger comes onto the property. He's what I call an "in your face barker." He definitely lets people know they better not be messin' with his folks.

That's Beau on the left with the ball in his mouth, and Daisy on the right.

Daisy on the other hand is so devoted to Ole she's like a piece of velcro attached to his leg. So when Ole took off on Thursday afternoon and didn't take her she was heartbroken. When I finally let her out she ran immediately to the shop to see if he was there. Nope, no Ole. Then she started checking out the other buildings, and of course, couldn't find him. She came back to the house, went directly to the basement and sniffed every corner - nope, no Ole. That's when she came back upstairs and lay down dejectedly in the middle of the living room and pouted.

So yesterday afternoon when I was outside futzing she disappeared. I called and called, but no response. A neighbor, who had just come from town, stopped for a minute to tell me that she thought it was my shepherd that was going down the highway toward town. I immediately hopped in the truck, sped down the highway and there she was - trotting just along the pavement on the shoulder of the road. I suppose she has seen Ole head for town on the tractor to fill it with gas, but she's never been allowed to follow him in that situation. So I suppose her little brain had deduced that that was one place she hadn't checked yet to find him and she was going to go take a look.

When I stopped the truck she was very sheepish and hopped immediately into the back of the truck with her head hanging down and her tail between her legs. She knew she was busted, and she pouted for the remainder of the evening.

I don't know what she's going to do when Ole and I take off for a month, or when we go for the winter next time. Poor soul will just pine away - where Beau is much more adaptable.

Well, anyway, my dog sitting time is about over for the weekend. Ole, Lovely Daughter and The New Man were going to spend some time at the swap meet that takes place on the fairgrounds every Sunday of this event and then head for home. He took the camera with him for the weekend so I'm sure he'll have lots of pictures and I'll share if I see something worthy!!