Friday, May 23, 2008

The AUDACITY of that woman

Well, Folks, it’s the beginning of a holiday weekend. And what are your plans? Do they include driving somewhere? I bet there’re a lot of plans that have been squashed due to the gas prices. So sad.

We have a friend who drives truck and hauls fuel from refineries in various locations in the upper Midwest to gas stations in our local area. He’s very interesting to visit with right now as he’s done this for 40 years and has some interesting insight into all this stuff. I visited with him yesterday when he was on the road and his speculation at this point is that within two weeks gas will be over $4 a gallon in our area and diesel will be over $5.

So Ole decided to fire up the RV yesterday and take it into town to fill that 160-gallon tank so we could begin the process of going bankrupt. I was out in the Back 40 (for you non-Midwesterners – that means in the farthest piece of the property) when I heard this loud air horn go off several times. Then a couple of minutes later it went off again so I toddled my riding lawnmower up to the house to see what all the racket was about. Ole was sitting behind the driver’s seat in the RV with one dog sitting on his lap looking out the window and the other with front paws on the dash looking out the window. He rolled down the window and said, “Hey Gorgeous (I love that Ole), wanna go for a ride?” So I got off my mower, brushed myself off and hopped into the passenger’s seat. It felt SO good.

$733 later we were on the road back home, and when we reached our driveway Ole said, “Shall I just keep on going?” I was very tempted to say yes, but being the responsible person that I am I decided I had to put my lawnmower away first. So we went home instead (sniff).

We cancelled our trip earlier this spring to the Great Smokies in North Carolina, and have decided to take a couple of shorter trips over the summer before we go for the big one and head west to Sturgis in August. At this point we’re planning to go the first weekend in June to a place about 100 miles from here called Fort Sisseton in South Dakota. They have a black powder event that weekend and re-enactment of the military days of the late 1800s when the Fort was active. Ole is quite interested in black powder shooting and has several pistols, so I’m sure he’ll enjoy it. We’ve been there before, but only for a day. So it will be fun to spend the entire 5 days there.

Part of our activities this weekend include having a potluck and a bonfire in the backyard on Sunday evening. We’re furnishing all the meat for the grille, and I’ve asked everyone to bring a dish to pass and whatever alcohol they want to drink. I’ve got a fridge full of soda. I sent the invitation out several days ago to the usual group of folks – about 18 if they all come. The email hadn’t been out 5 minutes when I heard back from Alice (of Ted and Alice). Alice is the one that worships the ground that Jane walks on and tries so hard to emulate her. Alice’s response was that they would probably be there, but they both have colds so she’ll have to see how they feel. This is Alice’s standard response whenever I invite her to anything. What’s reality is that she has to wait to find out what Jane is doing before she truly makes up her mind. She always has to leave herself an out. Oh well, at least I made the attempt.

Then yesterday I heard from Jane. When I sent the invitation out I sent it BCC specifically so Jane couldn’t see who I invited (tweak, tweak)! Jane’s response was that yeah, they would probably be there (see a parallel here?) and she told me what she would probably bring. Her next question was, “Who did you invite? You did invite Donnie, Bernie & Beth, didn’t you? And can my kids come?” Her kids are 24 and married with a child, and 26. Yeah, I guess they can come if they don’t have anything more fun to do than hang around with “old fogies.” And as for Donnie, Bernie and Beth, they are Jane’s paparazzi. Yes, they are nice folks, but they are JANE’s friends, not Ole’s and mine. But you see, that’s Jane’s way of ensuring that she has a circle around her that adores her, because nobody else in this group does. As I said, they’re nice people on their own, but when they get together with Jane I can’t stand any of them.

The audacity (neener) of being invited to something and then wanting your friends invited too. But this is very typical of Jane – she’s done this to me many times. I think I’ll just not respond to that email.

Later – Guys

Happy Friday!!

Love Lena

Thursday, May 22, 2008

An Open Letter to Jane

Dear Jane,

No, I shouldn’t start this letter “Dear” because you most certainly are not dear to me. At one point in time we were good friends, but long ago you lost that status in my eyes, and became merely an acquaintance. You wouldn’t even hold that position if it wasn’t for your husband who is a very kind, caring and loving individual; he is everything you are not. Unbeknownst to you, he has managed to smooth over some very rough spots for me in the past several years regarding our relationship – years when you’ve been “at your best” for lack of better sarcasm.

I truly thought that I had gotten over my anger toward you for all the things that you have done to and said about my family and me. Something happened yesterday that brought up old memories and all the hatred came to the surface again. The only consolation is that it doesn’t surface as frequently as it used to. Anger is such a wasted emotion and takes so much energy. I really need to channel that energy and emotion somewhere else – I certainly don’t need to waste it on you. Ole always tells me not to let someone else control how I feel – because if that enemy knew how he had affected my life he would be dancing in the streets. So, dance, Jane, dance. Because I truly do hate you for the things you have done and said.

Your husband, Dick, stopped over here last Thursday afternoon, sat on the deck in the sunshine and had a beer with Ole. Dick seemed so down – not the usual, smiley person that he always seems to be, although his positive attitude is truly a miracle considering he lives with you. By Sunday night Ole and I heard why Dick has been so down lately.

You’ve been caught, Bitch, with your pants down in more ways than one.

Dick had planned a canoe trip to the Boundary Waters (WAY northern Minnesota) with some buddies for the weekend, but cancelled the trip because the ice isn’t even off the lakes up there yet. You had apparently made some plans of your own that didn’t include Dick, and when you found out that Dick had cancelled the trip you flew into a rage. That alone should have told Dick something, but I think he loves you so much he’s choosing not to see all the signs.

Just why he loves you I can’t figure out. You’re about 50 pounds overweight, you dress like a slob, you have a bitchy personality, control issues up the wahzoo – the only thing I can think of is you must be really good in bed. One out of five isn’t bad, I guess.

Your plan was to go for a ride on your new Harley – ALONE – or so you said. Being Dick was going to be home he decided to go along, which you promptly negated. It was a horribly windy day – not a good day for riding at all – and under normal circumstances I don’t think you would have ridden but you had “something” in your back pocket you needed to complete. You think you’re so sneaky, but everybody can see through you – you’re about as transparent as a pane of glass. Your reasoning for not allowing Dick to ride with you was pretty transparent also – you wanted to go visit your grandmother’s grave and you might cry and you didn’t want Dick to see that. What a bunch of shit.

So Dick took off with a friend and went fishing. What a coincidence that your “friend” would call AFTER Dick leaves and want to go riding with you – in that terrible wind. How convenient. But like I said, you got caught. There was a bike accident, your “friend” went down, was injured and smashed his bike.

Jane – something’s really rotten in Denmark. You wouldn’t allow your husband to go with you to supposedly visit your grandmother’s grave, but it was okay for your “friend” to go along? A number of folks also find it interesting that you openly meet this “friend” on a regular basis at one of the local bars after work. It was also noted that the last time this “friend” was at the Watering Hole on burger night that you were making cow eyes at him, and kept him 100% engaged in conversation so that he couldn’t talk to anyone else. It’s also been noted that you have certain males that you “cling” to on karaoke nights and get quite upset when those certain males speak to other females. You want ALL of his attention. It was also quite interesting to watch you on the picnic table out back of the Watering Hole one night during karaoke. The gal who first spotted all that activity was horrified at the show you were putting on.

Dick stopped to visit with Bob and Carol on Sunday night following your road trip with your “friend.” Dick doesn’t confide in Ole and I anymore because I don’t think he wants to add fuel to the fire regarding my feelings toward you. But he does confide in Bob and Carol because he doesn’t know/realize they can’t stand you either. Judging from Dick’s actions of late, and his depressed mood, and little comments that he makes, I truly feel that Dick is very suspicious of your actions. I think he’s finally seeing the light.

You’ve burned a lot of bridges over the past several years, many that won’t ever be rebuilt. You told me back when we first became acquainted that you didn’t care what other people thought of you. I must say you are a woman of your word – you really don’t care. You are truly a disgusting person. Happy Hunting, Bitch.