All About JANE!!

First of all let’s take care of some business:
Yankee Chick has awarded me with the Blogger Badge. She tells me, “The blogging badge was made by Mark at Me and My Drum to be given to bloggers who make their blog their own, stay with it, interact with their readers and have fun. Mark also said that these bloggers are showing time and time again that they are true to themselves and that they ARE their blog.”

Well, Folks, I am really honored. I’ve mentioned previously that I never thought of myself as a writer in any way, shape or form, and I just started this blogging thing to see if I could do it and to entertain myself. All I can say is What you see/read is what you get. There just aren’t any facades here. Anyway, manga tusen taka (many thousand thanks), and now it’s my turn to pass it on to some other true blue bloggers. I hereby nominate: Art, MNLady, Miss Hiss, KitchenLogic and Shearmadnez. Blog on, People. If you have been nominated before, then consider yourself twice as good, okay? (Just don’t let it go to your head.)

The Big Bonfire and Barbecue went quite well on Saturday night. Ole did burgers and brats on the grille and everyone brought a dish (or two or three). Anyway, there was far more food than we could eat, so we had to all go and let it digest by the fire.

Here’s a shot of the bonfire – now keep in mind those are railroad ties stacked eight high, formed into a square that was filled with brush and tree branches. Ole said it didn’t even take any Boy Scout water to get it going, and to begin with the flames reached about 30 feet high!! Needless to say it warmed the air for quite a space around the fire so nobody got cold even though the temps were down in the 20s. You did have to pretend you were on a rotisserie though and occasionally turn your body so you weren’t done more on one side than the other!!


Now, are you Folks all ready for more of Lena’s Gossip? I just HAVE to tell you about Jane!!! I’ve been kind of saving things up for the last couple of weeks (snicker).

I’ve mentioned The Circle a number of times previously, but just to refresh your memories, there’s Dick & Jane, Bob & Carol, and Ted & Alice. You ALL know who Jane (No. 1 Bitch) is, married to the sweetest man, Dick. Then there’s Bob & Carol who have been friends with Dick & Jane for years and happen to live across the alley from them. Bob & Carol don’t have much time for Jane either, but tolerate her because Dick is such a nice guy. Then there’s Ted & Alice. Ted is another sweetheart, and Alice has always been kind of a whiner. She considers Jane her BEST friend; unfortunately Jane doesn’t feel that way about Alice. I’ve seen Jane put Alice in tears down at the Watering Hole because of the things she says to Alice. Mean things, but for some reason Alice just takes it. Something has come over Alice over the last couple of months, and she’s starting to emulate Jane. I’m not the only one who’s noticed it – Bob & Carol have both commented on it. She’s become No. 2 Bitch.

Several weeks ago a large group of us were invited over to Dick & Jane’s for a potluck and bonfire. Everyone got there at the appointed time and Dick was outside to greet everyone and get the grille going. Jane was nowhere to be seen. Someone asked about her and Dick said she was still in the house. Well, okay – maybe she’s still making preparations or something, so Carol went in to see if she could help. Carol came right back out and told me there was no way she was staying in the house with THAT wild cat. I guess she did nothing but bitch and be sarcastic to Carol. The rest of us women got things ready and THEN Jane made her entrance. She dished up her plate, sat down to eat and promptly left and went back inside the house. Carol was outside helping Dick clean up the grille and he confided in her that he and Jane had had a knock-down-drag-out fight prior to everyone’s arrival. He didn’t say what it was about, which was none of our business, but can you imagine? Maybe Jane had decided at the last minute that she didn’t want to have everyone over and this was her way of punishing all of us. Guess what – it didn’t work. We all had a great time despite her, and so did Dick with a little help from Captain Morgan!! And I certainly don’t blame him.

Then a couple of weeks ago Ole and I decided we’d have our annual Big Bonfire the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I sent out email invitations. We also announced it when we were all down at the Watering Hole having burgers one night. Dick made the statement that he hadn’t gotten all of his brush and branches burned at his bonfire so could he bring them out to ours. They live in town so have to keep their fires on a rather modest level. Of course Ole said that would be fine. That’s when Jane, who was sitting at the end of the table that night, stated in a very loud voice, “WE - - WILL - - NOT - - BE - - THERE!!” looking directly at Dick. It was quite apparent that this subject had been discussed previously as she was quite animated about it. And the look that Dick returned to her could have killed. So as far as I was concerned, they weren’t coming. I saw her a couple of times during the week and she was very cold and distant. I sure don’t know what I did to offend her, but then, like Ole said, she’s just angry at the whole world and you happened to be in her line of sight.

So Saturday afternoon came and Ole and I were outside getting things ready, and setting up tables, chairs and the grille out at his shop. I happened to come in the house about 5:15 when the phone rang. Caller ID said it was Jane and I debated picking it up, but thought better of it and decided to see what she had to say. After all, I could always just hang up on her. I answered and she was as nice as pie – was it too late to RSVP (I had invited everyone for 6 p.m.)? Was it okay if they came? Could Dick bring his brush to burn? Was there anything I needed help with? I’m looking over both my shoulders during this conversation to see if there’s someone else she’s talking to, because it surely couldn’t be ME, could it? I told her it of course it was fine – just bring themselves and an appetite and Dick’s brush. They showed up about 15 minutes later – a half hour before anyone else did. I just kept myself busy and told her to fix herself a drink and go sit by the fire. At least this time Jane didn’t take it upon herself to invite her groupies like she usually does. Maybe she didn’t have time. Ted and Alice didn’t show at all, but then Alice told me when the initial invitation went out 10 days prior to the bonfire that she wouldn’t be there because she had a cold (think about that for a minute, okay?) Of course Alice can’t go anywhere that Jane doesn’t go, and I suppose Jane didn’t have time to let Alice know that she’d changed her mind and was actually going to come out. Ted and Alice were in church on Sunday morning and neither Ole nor I noticed Alice coughing or blowing her nose!!

We really need some new friends. Bob & Carol are stable and rock solid – great people and fun to be with. There are also several other couples that join The Circle on occasion, but I think keep their distance because of Jane and now Alice.

Oh, well, we shall see what happens. One of these days both Jane and Alice are going to lip off to the wrong person – and it just MIGHT be ME!!

ADDENDUM BELOW:

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I totally completely forgot about this when I was writing this morning. I HAVE to clue you in on this too - I truly think Jane is a sicko individual - here's another of her latest antics:

I clicked the receive button on my email a couple of mornings ago and there was a very large email file that came in from Jane. I opened it - and it was a power point show of 23 pictures of HARD PORN!! All the bits and pieces and tools were taken in closeup mode in action. She sent it to Ole too. The next time I saw Bob I asked him if he and Carol had been blessed with being on her mailing list. Bob told me that she goes through this every few years and the last time she got on this kick he asked her to take his name off her mailing list. Wonder of Dick knows she does this kind of thing?