Don't make me use UPPERCASE!!!

Anybody here like going to the dentist? Raise your hand if you do (you sick, sick person, you).

I had a horrible experience yesterday - going to the dentist hasn't been that bad since I was a kid.

Unfortunately, when I was a kid we didn't get to go to the dentist until we had caverns in our mouth - holes so big that most of the tooth was drilled out and only a shell left to hold the filling. So currently all my molars are either capped or filled with that silver stuff that looks so pretty and glistens in the sunshine (joke, people, that's a joke). I had white porcelain fillings in my front teeth that after many years discolored, so about seven years ago I had all my front teeth covered with veneers. Now they're pretty and even and I like my smile.

All the prednisone that I've been on over the winter has done a number on my teeth (destroys the calcium in your body), and some of my molars are suffering for it. Before we went on vacation a chunk broke off the very back molar. Dr. S. looked at it for me, told me I needed a crown, but we were leaving the next day and he couldn't get me in that day. I was SO lucky that the tooth didn't bother me during our trip. That would have been miserable.

So I had an appointment yesterday for a cleaning and a crown prep. I sat down in the hygenists chair at 3 o'clock and finally walked out of the office at 5:30 p.m. - madder than a hornet's nest. Two and a half hours in a dentist's chair hanging almost upside down with your mouth open is a LONG time.

All went well during the cleaning - that's a piece of cake, especially when you get Happy Gas. Dr. S. is super - he's the son of an old high school classmate of ours. He also served as the base dentist up in Iceland, so we have lots to talk about. (For those of you who don't know, Ole and I lived in Iceland for two years, way back when.) So his part of the prep work took about 20 minutes and he's so gentle and so concerned about everything. I just love him.

THEN COMES THE DENTAL ASSISTANT - (I'm using UPPER CASE so can you tell where this is going?)

When Dr. S. was done with the prep work he left to go to another patient and it was up to the assistant to finish. She did the impressions, made the temporary and was to "install" it in my mouth. First of all she put an over abundance of goop in the plate to make the impression; so much that it squirted out all over and was running down the back of my throat choking me. And of course they have you almost hanging upside down in the chair so they can see in your mouth. Ever try to get something out of your throat when you're hanging upside down? She finally took that plate out of my mouth and prepared the temporary, smoothed it off and jammed it in my mouth.

Now remember, a tooth has four sides to it and you need to get the correct side facing out. For some reason she couldn't determine which side was the outside and had to take the temporary out numerous times, give it a quarter turn and try it again. She finally got it right, took it out once more, put the cement into the hole and put it back in my mouth INCORRECTLY! She then had to get it out again and it had already started to set up, so there was a bit of difficulty. Once more she's twisting and turning the tooth all over again determining which side is the correct side to face out. She finally determined what was correct, cemented the temporary in and let it sit for a bit.

Then come the instruments into my mouth to scrape off all the excessive cement that's on the outside of the tooth. Guess what happened - the tooth popped off and broke in half - so we had to start all over again with more impressions and too much goop and stuff running down my throat again choking me. When she finally determined which side was the out facing side of this tooth, she cemented it in and came after me with the instruments to remove the excess glue again and I closed my mouth tight and said, "Not on your life - stay away from me." I got up out of that chair and left as fast as I could. The tooth is so rough it feels like sandpaper on my tongue and I have to put up with this for two weeks until the permanent crown is ready.

I did stop at the front desk to make my next appointment to have the permanent crown put in, and thought about saying something to the receptionist, who has been there forever and I know fairly well, but I didn't because I was afraid I'd get really angry and say something I would regret later. (Run on sentence - sorry.) But I did call her this morning and informed her of the entire scenario and told her that I would not allow that assistant into my mouth ever again. Please make a note in my chart that I want an experienced assistant, one who is not going to inflict pain and suffering, both physically and mentally. The receptionist is also an assistant and assured me that she would do the job personally the next time I come in. She also assured me that she would speak with Dr. S. about the incident.

I'm still angry today. And for this I have to pay $800??? I think I deserve a discount of some kind, don't you? If I hadn't promised myself that I'm going to die with MY teeth in my head (no falsies for me, thanks), I certainly wouldn't pt myself through all this torture. AAACCCKKK!