Okay – time for a bitch session. I’m really pissed off. Guess at whom? Her initials are JANE!!
Dick’s birthday is this coming Saturday, and usually Dick is never around for his birthday. He LOVES going up to the Boundary Waters in Minnesota and spending time, so usually treats himself to that trip over his birthday. This year, for some reason, he’s not going, so this is one of the first birthdays in many years that he’s been around.
About 10 days ago the subject of Dick’s birthday came up and several of us gals asked Jane if she was planning anything being Dick was going to be home. Her answer was, “What for – this isn’t one of the BIG ones.” Okay – so it’s not one of the BIG ones – it doesn’t end in a zero. So what.
Last Monday night when Ole and I were together with Bob and Carol down at The Local Watering Hole we were discussing the fact that Dick’s birthday was coming and that Jane wasn’t planning anything. We all came to the conclusion that we should have some kind of a gathering for Dick. Bob’s comment was, “Dick is SUCH a nice guy and does so many nice things for everyone, if anybody deserves a party, it’s Dick.” So I volunteered our backyard and fire pit for the location, and Carol said she’d help get everything going.
Following this discussion at The Watering Hole Jane showed up, but not Dick as he was off busy doing something else. Carol and I broached the subject to Jane about having a get-together on Saturday night, kind of a potluck thing and BYOB. She was very noncommittal, wouldn’t answer one way or the other. As we were leaving Carol said to me, “You find out what the scoop is, whether or not they’ll come and let me know tomorrow. My mother makes and decorates cakes, so if this is a go I’ll have her do a cake.”
Tuesday morning I e-mailed Jane and said, “If Carol and I get something going for Saturday night can we count on you and Dick to be there?”
THIS is the response I got back:
I still haven't had a chance to talk to Dick about this weekend. After all it IS only Tuesday and so far this is the first weekend in a long time that hasn't already been planned for us. But if you're planning this thing around (or for) his birthday I guess I WILL have to make sure we're in town on Saturday night. And, BY THE WAY, just because I hadn’t planned anything for his birthday as of yet, didn’t mean that I was going to let it go completely un-noticed. I would think you’d know better than that. I just don’t plan for months in advance, sometime the more spontaneous the better. I may have even had an "impromptu" picnic too.
I emailed her back and told her that we would just let it go then. They should go ahead with whatever plans they had.
The next thing I know my phone is ringing and the caller ID identified the call as Jane’s office. I knew if I answered the phone I would say something I would regret later so I just didn’t answer.
A minute later I got another email from her; “Are you pissed? I never said we COULDN’T do it, I just said I’d have to SEE.”
My response: “It’s totally understandable that you may have plans and haven’t pinned anything down yet. No problem there. What I do have a problem with is the attitude that came across in the email. After all, it IS an email and if you didn’t truly want it to sound bitchy – it’s changeable. And yes, it did sound pretty bitchy. After discussion a The Watering Hole last night among the four of us, it was kind of a general consensus that we would like to do something nice for Dick because he does so many nice things for everyone else. So that was our reasoning – not because we wanted to formulate plans and out-do you or plan something before you got a chance to. It was just a thought and we were just trying to do something nice.
Then I got a phone call from her on her cell and I didn’t recognize the number so I picked up. There she was in all her glory trying to sidestep her snotty attitude with all kinds of excuses, etc. She asked if we couldn’t do this gathering on Sunday night instead. By this time I was so put out with her I just didn’t want to be bothered anymore so I told her it wouldn’t fit our schedule. Her response was, “Okay, then I’ll just call Bob and Carol and make plans with them, then. We’ll have a party and you won’t be invited being you’re too busy.”
Now – here’s the issue. I’m definitely not upset about the fact that they may have had plans for the weekend. What I AM pissed off about is the snotty attitude Jane displayed throughout this whole scenario. Or am I reading things into her replies that aren’t there?
Feedback, anyone? Please???
Dick’s birthday is this coming Saturday, and usually Dick is never around for his birthday. He LOVES going up to the Boundary Waters in Minnesota and spending time, so usually treats himself to that trip over his birthday. This year, for some reason, he’s not going, so this is one of the first birthdays in many years that he’s been around.
About 10 days ago the subject of Dick’s birthday came up and several of us gals asked Jane if she was planning anything being Dick was going to be home. Her answer was, “What for – this isn’t one of the BIG ones.” Okay – so it’s not one of the BIG ones – it doesn’t end in a zero. So what.
Last Monday night when Ole and I were together with Bob and Carol down at The Local Watering Hole we were discussing the fact that Dick’s birthday was coming and that Jane wasn’t planning anything. We all came to the conclusion that we should have some kind of a gathering for Dick. Bob’s comment was, “Dick is SUCH a nice guy and does so many nice things for everyone, if anybody deserves a party, it’s Dick.” So I volunteered our backyard and fire pit for the location, and Carol said she’d help get everything going.
Following this discussion at The Watering Hole Jane showed up, but not Dick as he was off busy doing something else. Carol and I broached the subject to Jane about having a get-together on Saturday night, kind of a potluck thing and BYOB. She was very noncommittal, wouldn’t answer one way or the other. As we were leaving Carol said to me, “You find out what the scoop is, whether or not they’ll come and let me know tomorrow. My mother makes and decorates cakes, so if this is a go I’ll have her do a cake.”
Tuesday morning I e-mailed Jane and said, “If Carol and I get something going for Saturday night can we count on you and Dick to be there?”
THIS is the response I got back:
I still haven't had a chance to talk to Dick about this weekend. After all it IS only Tuesday and so far this is the first weekend in a long time that hasn't already been planned for us. But if you're planning this thing around (or for) his birthday I guess I WILL have to make sure we're in town on Saturday night. And, BY THE WAY, just because I hadn’t planned anything for his birthday as of yet, didn’t mean that I was going to let it go completely un-noticed. I would think you’d know better than that. I just don’t plan for months in advance, sometime the more spontaneous the better. I may have even had an "impromptu" picnic too.
I emailed her back and told her that we would just let it go then. They should go ahead with whatever plans they had.
The next thing I know my phone is ringing and the caller ID identified the call as Jane’s office. I knew if I answered the phone I would say something I would regret later so I just didn’t answer.
A minute later I got another email from her; “Are you pissed? I never said we COULDN’T do it, I just said I’d have to SEE.”
My response: “It’s totally understandable that you may have plans and haven’t pinned anything down yet. No problem there. What I do have a problem with is the attitude that came across in the email. After all, it IS an email and if you didn’t truly want it to sound bitchy – it’s changeable. And yes, it did sound pretty bitchy. After discussion a The Watering Hole last night among the four of us, it was kind of a general consensus that we would like to do something nice for Dick because he does so many nice things for everyone else. So that was our reasoning – not because we wanted to formulate plans and out-do you or plan something before you got a chance to. It was just a thought and we were just trying to do something nice.
Then I got a phone call from her on her cell and I didn’t recognize the number so I picked up. There she was in all her glory trying to sidestep her snotty attitude with all kinds of excuses, etc. She asked if we couldn’t do this gathering on Sunday night instead. By this time I was so put out with her I just didn’t want to be bothered anymore so I told her it wouldn’t fit our schedule. Her response was, “Okay, then I’ll just call Bob and Carol and make plans with them, then. We’ll have a party and you won’t be invited being you’re too busy.”
Now – here’s the issue. I’m definitely not upset about the fact that they may have had plans for the weekend. What I AM pissed off about is the snotty attitude Jane displayed throughout this whole scenario. Or am I reading things into her replies that aren’t there?
Feedback, anyone? Please???
8 comments:
What a BITCH!!! It's so unfortunate that Dick is married to a witch like that. You should go ahead ask Dick what he would like to do. Forget about Jane.
I suppose I'm like the kid that walks into the middle of a movie and wants to know who, what , when , where, why and how? You know these people, I don't, so I can't say. Usually what works for me is to try and imagine the situation in reverse. If it was your husband and she was throwing a party for him? Does it feel the same way? Is she being a bitch? I don't know.
Trying to see it from Jane's point of view as well, I can see how this could be a miscommunication that snowballed. She may have misinterpreted something you said, you may have understood her reply differently than she intended, she may have been feeling defensive or just been sensitive...
Now obviously I don't know what was in her head, or how she heard what you said - and yes, her words as presented do sound pretty bitchy - but emails can sound so much worse than intended, as we supply the 'tone' to another person's words.
The last bit, yes, she's pissed and being bitchy, but I can see how a simple miscommunication grows into that. I don't know Jane and have never heard her - so I just don't know.
get ahold of dick, and tell him of the birthday party you are planning for him on saturday; dont invite jane. what a snidey bitch she is!! heres what i gotta say to jane: (from saturday night live)
"JANE YOU MISERABLE SLUT!!" whew! ok i got that offa my chest!! uff da! :)
(from l'empress) I'm one of your newer readers, and I don't know your friend except for what you've written in the past couple of entries. Is she the kind you step over or in?
You know I've been around for awhile - and this is TYPICAL Jane. It's another one of her stunts to control and be the center of attention.
I hope, if you desire, you and Ole can "stop by" at any gathering Bob and Carol create for Dick. Or even, "change your plans" because Dick is so special to everyone.
If I didn't know she was so obnoxious, loud and a giant pain in the ass, I'd say ignore her but I know better.
You aren't wrong in reading Jane's Megaphone messages correctly. She's a passive/aggressive monster! She could have been planning a party behind your back and not inviting you as a way of letting you know she's angry with you. Or maybe she can't imagine throwing a party for Dick because he's such a nice guy and she's sick of him always having such positive attention. And this party would not give her the attention she so desires. God, I just can't stand her and would have to do everything it took in me to have nothing to do with her, even if it meant dumping Dick, too. Which is sad, but maybe Dick needs to get a wake up call so he can either take some action to help her out or get rid of her himself. One of these days, you have to invite me up so I can see her in action! God - that sounds like just the type of entertainment I love to watch, Reality Dysfunction in Real Time!
what a b***** She sure doesn't deserve your friendship at all. Unfortate that Dick as to suffer.
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