Monday, June 30, 2008

And in the Words of Forrest Gump -

Well, here it is Monday – the weekend is over – and I bet you’re all just dying to hear about Jane’s big surprise party for Dick, heh?

Ole and I didn’t arrive until about 6:30; visited with various folks for a while, put the steaks that WE brought on the grille and ate from all the dishes that were “brought to share.” Mmmm, there was some good stuff there. Potlucks are wonderful in that way, aren’t they? You get to taste everything. Anyway, there was a lot of food there and if anyone went home hungry it was their own fault.

About 8:30 the sex toy lady started hauling her suitcases full of stuff in and setting up her display. There were more colors and glow in the dark dildos than I could have ever imagined. There was stuff on that display table that I had no idea what it was used for – but then that could be my Norwegian Lutheran upbringing too, ya’ know. Kept in the dark all my life, that’s me.

The Fun Bus arrived promptly at 9 p.m. and all the guys that “were allowed” to go got on the bus. Dick was kind of hanging back, I’m not sure why. In fact I heard him say to another guy, “Do I have to go?” Anyway, the bus was full when it left Dick’s house, with the promise that they would be back in an hour or so. Bwahaha! What a joke.

Bob & Carol, Ole & I left shortly after that, stopped at Krabby’s for a drink, got blasted out by the music and were home by 10:30 – such party animals we are.

Bob said he saw Dick the next day (Sunday afternoon) and he was still in the bag with slits for eyes. Dick said Jane was still in bed after having been up all night. So I have no racy stories to tell about the happenings because we chose not to hang around and witness all the garbage. Besides, I have a difficult time being in the same room with Jane anymore and find it’s much better for my peace of mind to vacate the premises when she’s around. The only reason we went at all is because of Dick.

But tonight is half-price burger night at the Watering Hole, so I’m sure we’ll hear some stories tonight and I’ll fill you in.

Now, here is my philosophy. If you don’t want to hear it, just click the little red “X” in the upper right hand corner.

I am not a tea-totaler by any means. I do my share of consuming and I’m certainly not against anyone having a good time. Where I do have a problem is when someone gets so trashed they’re still in the bag the next day. Life is too short to waste the entire next day recuperating from the night before. Most generally the only thing you do when you’re in that condition is make an ass out of yourself, anyway.

So in the words of Forrest Gump, “And that’s all I have to say about that.”

9 comments:

Meggie Marchstives@gmail.com said...

You're right about the drinking too much thing. I learned long ago the repercussions of being that stupid -- sick or not/headache or not, still I had to go to work anyway. That was not a fun day -- but I was only 21 then. Enjoyed your story about Dick and Jane. Reading about why someone dislikes another someone is really quite fun for those of us not involved. Keep thinking J.R. Ewing on the old hit show Dallas -- someone we all love to hate.

Cosmicrayola said...

Well, though I used to be like you and agree that there is nothing wrong with it, my ex-boss is of the opinion that any more than one glass of alcoholic beverage constitutes a person with an alcohol problem. It's all a matter of perspective. I am not saying that this is you, I am just speaking generalities here, but it is my opinion that we tend to think any amount of anything is okay as long as it isn't more than we do ourselves, lol. I am real good at that.

Anonymous said...

I so agree I am no tea-totaler either but really don't want to hear my version of Jane in the morning, only mine being 21 isn't at all abnormal ... This morning she was so hung over she used the excuse of being ill to not come in. No one knew until she got an appt with a doc here. shesh!

art sez: said...

i agree about the too much drinking dealie. as for me, its one of my biggest hangups. if im around slobbering drunks, well, im outie real quick!!!

Lena . . . said...

Art, I PROMISE I won't slobber when we're in Tombstone (snicker).

bluesleepy said...

There's no excuse for being that hung over the next day. I'm all for drinking and having a good time (except while pregnant -- grrr), but that's excessive. I wonder if Dick enjoyed his party, or he was too drunk to remember much of it.

Anonymous said...

I would think living with Jane that Dick would stay drunk.

Anonymous said...

I would drink if I had to be around that woman too. Dick needs to get a grip and move on with his life.

Anonymous said...

I wasted 17 years of my life drinking too much...the last 17 years (sober) have been wonderful. If any one come at me waving a day glow colored, glow in the dark dildo, I'm going to go running screaming at the top of my lungs...and that's all I have to say about THAT!!! Can't wait to hear the 2nd hand Jane stories but I'm glad you didn't waste any of your life watching Jane waste hers.