Wednesday, September 26, 2007

There's been a death in the family - Sob !

I’ve had a death in the family. Someone that I’m going to miss tremendously. I can’t imagine life without her at this point. I haven’t known her all that long, but her passing is going to leave an enormous hole in my life.

Rosie the Roomba (robotic vacuum) died today.

For the last couple of weeks she’s been making some strange noises when she’s been sweeping up all the dog and cat hair. Maybe she thought there should be more to life than just animal hair – like cookie crumbs or some such thing. Unfortunately, at my house the grand doggers play Hoover and eat all the food crumbs so all Rosie ever got was pet hair. Maybe she died of malnutrition or something.

I’ve been very careful to give Rosie a thoroughly cleaning frequently. And to enhance her cleaning I would periodically send Rosie out to the shop with Ole so he could give her a blow job. Now get your minds out of the gutter, please. In my terms, when Ole gives Rosie a blow job he blows all the excess hair and dust from her innards with an air hose. Makes her nice and clean. Just like new.

But apparently, this time she needed more and a blow job just didn’t satisfy her. So she’s become uncooperative and refuses to clean anymore. Or maybe she’s gone through dust-o-pause and just doesn’t enjoy the blow jobs anymore.

I’m hoping that with a little interference (robotic hormones) she’ll come back to life and start doing her job again. I got onto the Roomba website today, and because she’s still under warranty they’ll either perform some kind of surgery so she’ll enjoy cleaning again, or replace her with a newer, younger model.

Just an aside speaking of a newer, younger model – when Ole turned 50 he asked me if he could go out and find a 25 year old. A younger model, you know. I told him “Sure. No problem. Because you’re turning 50 you can have TWO 25 year olds.” Of course his face lit up like a Christmas tree. Then I told him there was only one stipulation to the agreement. He could have two 25 year olds but he’d have to be able to keep up with them. Didn’t take him long to give up that idea (snicker, snort.)

Tomorrow I’ll have to pack Rosie up and ship her off to the Roomba Hospital. Hopefully she’ll be able to enjoy life again. They’ll have to evaluate her and let me know if she can be restored to life or not. I’ll sure miss her while she’s gone.

Just send sympathy cards and any memorials to me via blogspot.com, Okay?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. By the way - I just drove by a store called Caskets & More and in the window they had a sign that offered great deals on pet urns. You want I should inquire (enquire?) about a Roomba Urn?

Anonymous said...

was Rosie Catholic? if so, i can Celebrate a High Requiem Mass for Rosie....
Parati estote ad præmia regni, qui lux perpetua lucabit vobis æternitatem temporis.

Anonymous said...

Alas, poor Rosie... We knew her well.

My mom owns a Roomba. My dad thought she'd keep up on the vacuuming if he bought her a Roomba. I've never seen it in use...

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if those Roomba's actually did the job well. We were going to try one, but with 3 dogs and cats, figured it might be too much for it to handle.

Sorry about Rosie's untimely demise, hopefully they can bring her back! ha!

Anonymous said...

*Sob* Not Rosie!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I was thinking of getting my own Rosie, but seeing how upsetting it is when you lose one, I think I will pass on it. I don't need any more heartache!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Don't give up hope! I sent mine in. It conked out just a few weeks after I got it. The roomba folks gave me no trouble about it at all. I sent it in and got a new one back in record time.

Blowing them out won't do it for maintenance. Because they have all of those wheels you have to unwrap the hair from the wheels with the cleaning tools provided. I can tell when mine starts getting sluggish it's time to de-hair. It's not a pleasant job, but I'd rather spend 10 minutes once a month on maintenance than several hours on vacuuming.

I still love my roomba.

I was also kind of wondering if the person that doesn't use theirs doesn't use it because it was given as a critique instead of an aid.

Anonymous said...

My condolences! Dang!

Anonymous said...

I'll send some Rosie-premorin for her! I am sure If we had one it would die on the first day.

Hope the Rosie gyn doesn't charge too much!