How to end the war on Terrorists

Mornin' Folks - Ole here.

Lena's busy cooking in the kitchen and said she wouldn't have time for an entry today, so I'm just sneaking in here to put my two cents in. She's out there slaving over a hot stove cooking up a storm because we've got the threshing crew here today and they're going to be hungry. Well, actually it's the shingling crew. Dick, Ted, Scott, Lars, Lovely Daughter and I will be up on the roof ripping off all the old shingles and installing new ones.

Lena has told me that she rarely gets into anything political or religious on her blog - everybody has and is entitled to their own viewpoints and regardless of what you say you're never going to change someone else's - so she just leaves it alone. But - - I have some thoughts on how GW could end the war and come out smelling like a rose politically.

Here goes:

Send Service Vets over 60. I am over 60 and the Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing ass backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old farts only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry. We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18 -year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. (Uh-oh - here comes Lena with the rolling pin - Just kidding, Lena).

They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the New army now, 'Get down and give me ... ER .. one.' Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone out run a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave and to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed-off old farts with attitude and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol...we will have it secured the first night!

And that's all I have to say about that.

It's been fun, Folks. Enjoy your day!

Ole