The picture above is of Vicki and me; we had taken dancing lessons together and were getting ready for a recital, so of course my mother had to snap a picture. Vickie is the one on the right.
Vicki and her brother were only two years apart, but her little sister I think, must have been an oops because she showed up 18 years later. By this time both parents were pretty bad alcoholics. Vicki did her best to cope with the situation but when her husband was transferred to Milwaukee she was truly relieved. She came home to visit infrequently over the years because it was more than she could deal with, and finally gave up in frustration and didn't come home at all for many years. I don't believe she even came home for her father's funeral when he passed due to an alcoholic infarction of the brain.
Now we have her brother and sister living around the corner from each other, but brother has thrown his hands up in frustration also. Little Sister, who is currently in her 40s, has been hooked on pain killers for years and years. She has two children but doesn't know who the fathers are, and is currently living with a man who soaks up alcohol like a sponge. Little Sister does her share of consuming also. Several times a year, over the last years, Little Sister has tried to commit suicide by overdosing with drugs. She's spent lots of time in psych wards getting cleaned up and dried out, but to no avail. She even has the audacity to call various people in the community looking for leftover prescription pain pills. I can't believe that people are stupid enough to give them to her knowing her reputation, but she's getting them somewhere.
Last week she had another episode. She had been into the ER due to some kind of an overdose. Her 16 year old daughter was driving her home when she grabbed a bottle out of her purse and swallowed the entire thing down. Well, needless to say she ended up back in the ER, and then in the psych ward again. Vickie was called home because they weren't sure she was going to make it this time, but again, she pulled through.
I called her brother's house this morning to try and connect with Vickie, to take her to lunch or have her out for coffee because it's been forever since we've had a chance to visit. But Brother told me Vickie and her husband left for home yesterday. They had initially planned to be here all week, hoping they could get some legal work done to commit Little Sister so she would have to stay in the hospital or some facility for a period of time - trying to get her some help. But in the State of Minnesota that's illegal. You can't commit anyone. If they are in a facility they are there on their own and can walk out anytime they want. So Vickie had gone home again in frustration, not being able to get any help for her little sister. One of these times this woman is going to be successful in her death wish. How awful life must be to feel that way. And my heart goes out to Vickie and her brother for trying so hard to find a solution and not being able to do so.
Little Sister walked out of the psych ward yesterday and is currently at home. I wonder how long it will be before the First Responders are called to her house again.
ADDENDUM: At Christmas time Little Sister sat down in the middle of the kitchen, doused herself with gasoline and held a lighter, threatening to set herself on fire. Another time she held a pistol to her head. Both of these situations took place on extremely cold nights. The 16 year old daughter ran barefoot to the neighbors to get help and to get herself out of the house. Unfortunately both the 16 year old daughter and the 20-some year old son have also tried several times to commit suicide.
9 comments:
this is so sad. it has been well over 10 years since i tryed my last suicide attempt. i received very good therapy, and was lucky. i have learned that life is precious, and that there is no problem, or addiction that is worth the cost of your life. this woman is a danger to herself and others and there must be SOMETHING that can be done to FORCE her into treatment.
My heart goes out to her children, especially her daughter who is too young to be on her own. It's a shame they've had to grow up with this, and it makes me wonder if they too will be successful in their attempts to commit suicide.
Oh boy, do I know how this feels! My mother threatened suicide on a few occasions. One time she was threatening to off her self with a butcher knife, the next she was threatening to down a bottle of alcohol (she doesn't drink) and drive over a cliff. Both of these times she was met with an "Okay! Bye!" from her two youngest children who were, by this time, pretty numb to her threats.
Gosh, think I should tell these stories at her 80th birthday party?
"Hey mom" hahahaha! "Remember that time you held the butcher knife to your throat and we just laughed at you? Man, that was so funny?"
And people wonder why I don't relate to my mother very well?
My heart aches for the entire family but especially Little Sister's children. I hope the cycle can be broken with the new generation.
How sad and now the cycle is starting all over again, perhaps efforts would best be spent in breaking the cycle and saving her kids. Someone can't be saved if they wont let themselves be saved, but perhaps the kids are crying out for help.
What a heart breaking life for all of them! So sad for the kids.
Poor Vickie.
Let's hope someone will be able to get some help for them, before the legacy gets passed to the next generation. I have been suicidal and yes I have seen my son at that point also. If the alcholism and related mental health issues {which I guarantee can be traced back to her parents drinking issues} aren't helped, it will continue on down the line. I'm still fighting the monster in my family. My heart goes out to them. but I always thought if someone was a danger to themselves or others they could be commited against thier will. At least I know they can in ND.
Oh my that is just so terrible. I wish that poor woman could get some help! Now the kids are the same too. wow.
I have no idea what they do in Sd but boss lady's mom needed to be restrained to keep from falling and they can't legally restrain here so she fell and eventually the pain from the fall was too much for her and she gave up and died.
It is sad when people who are really out of their minds can't get help!
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