Rubber Legs and Hot Dish

Good Gawd Almighty - it's just to damn cold to go outside anymore. We set a record last night and ran that old thermometer down to 31 degrees below zero!! Fortunately when it gets that cold it's too cold to snow.

But let me tell you about yesterday: The Ya Ya Sisters got together yesterday afternoon about 4 o'clock. You remember I told you about the five girls who went to school together from first grade on? Well, yesterday was our day to get together and laugh and have fun, which we did. We left the restaurant about 6:30 and headed for home. I had about 25 feet to run from the door to my car and I thought I was going to have frostbite on my face. The wind was blowing so hard and the temps were way below zero. I heard on the radio on the way home that the wind chill was equivalent to 47 degrees below zero. As I got out on the highway to drive my seven miles home I began to wonder what I was doing there because the snow was blowing across the highway creating whiteout conditions so you kind of had to drive by feel - not by sight. I was so happy to see the lights of our little town when I finally got that far because then I knew I only had a half mile to get home.

Then about 9 o'clock the wind went down and the temps started to drop like a rock. I know - I know - why do we live here you ask? At this point I really can't answer that without my nose growing long.

I had a long day yesterday. My church serving group had to serve for a funeral yesterday. Visitation started at 9 o'clock so we had to have coffee and cookies ready for that and for the family. The funeral was at 11 o'clock and we were told to be ready to serve 250 people. The ladies of our group had to furnish the sandwiches and cake, and the "hotdish" was ordered in. But setting up for and serving 250 made me feel like I had rubber legs when it was all over.

Now I don't know if those of you from other areas of the country other than the Upper Midwest are knowledgeable about what a close connection Lutheran churches and hotdishes have at church gatherings. Hotdishes are the glue that keeps the Lutheran church together. The definition of hotdish is "Any of a variety of casserole dishes popular in the Midwest, especially in Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota and northern regions of Iowa. It consists of a starch and a protein mixed together with a binding ingredient (most often canned soup or a sauce) and a topping. Typical ingredients are macaroni, ground beef and corn with canned soup added for flavor and as a sauce, and seasoned with salt, pepper and/or ketchup." You may question ketchup as a seasoning, but it's a well known fact that Norwegian Lutheran's spice cabinet only contains salt, pepper and ketcup!! Another popular hotdish is made with plain noodles, canned tuna and peas, with canned soup - usually cream of mushroom - for binding. Even Spam and cream of mushroom is a popular combo. (After all, the Spam factory is in Minnesota, you know.) Cream of mushroom soup is used so frequently in hotdish that it is often referred to in recipes as "the Lutheran Binder," referring to hotdish's position as a staple of Lutheran-church cookbooks. Hotdish even made its way into mystery novels. If you haven't read Hotdish to Die For, in which the weapon of choice is hotdish, you've missed a good laugh.

So what kind of hotdish did we serve yesterday? Macaroni, hamburger, peas, corn, tomato sauce and ketchup for seasoning!! Tasty stuff. Then of course there's the sandwiches: open-faced buns spread with egg salad or tuna salad or cheese whiz with an olive in the middle or dead spread. What??? Dead spread?? It's served so often at funerals because it's so simple to make - ground ham mixed with chopped pickles, a tiny bit of onion (wouldn't want to over season you know) and a bit of pickle juice.

By the time we were done there were only a dozen sandwiches left, a half pan of bars and a few spoonfuls of hotdish. And oh yes, can't forget the coffee. We made four 100-cup pots of coffee and had about 20 cups left when we were done. Now that's a good bunch of Norwegians there. I drafted Ole to become one of the ladies of the serving circle. He came to the church at 8:30 and loaded all the coffee pots and put them to perk and he didn't even gripe. Those 100-cup pots loaded full of water are pretty darn heavy you know.

On a more serious note, this was an especially sad funeral. She was a young woman of only 31 years who had Type I diabetes. That's diabetes that is contracted as a child, a very difficult situation to treat. She had a baby 6 months ago that had to be delivered two months early and weighed 15 oz. when he was born. The mother had developed kidney problems during pregnancy and after the birth they continued to fail. She was on dialysis and was waiting for a transplant when she went to sleep a few nights ago and didn't wake up. The little baby had just been brought home about Christmas time after finally gaining enough weight. The husband/father is a young man of 32 that my daughter went to school with from kindergarten on. Funerals are always sad, mostly for selfish reasons, but this was especially sad because she was so young and had so much life left to live.

Also, in my last post I referred to some family issues that were eating up all my energy physically and emotionally. Thanks to all of you who have written me private emails showing care and concern. It's so nice to know that you're all out there for me. Unfortunately nothing has changed in that situation due to a total lack of communication. I'm not sure where I should go from here. If I decide to write about it, it will be in a private post and I'll let you know where if you're interested. And that's all I'm going to say about that at the moment.

On to another subject . . . .

I really had to laugh at Ole this morning. This is Going to the Gym Morning so of course the doggers were all excited about going for a ride in the truck. I worry about them when it's this cold, but Ole says he always parks in the sun, and the dogs give off so much heat that when he opens the door and gets in the truck after his workout you can't even see your breath. I was going to say that they are a cheap source of heat (chuckle) but when you consider all the fuel that is shoveled into them (dog food and milkbones) I'm not sure that propane or fuel oil isn't cheaper!! But anyway - Ole had so many things on his mind this morning. He had his lists and had gathered up all his paperwork because he had a number of stops to make after the gym. He was also really excited this morning because he has an appointment at the VA for new hearing aids this afternoon (hallalujah - I won't have to yell anymore). Also, Carol (of Bob and Carol) had invited him to stop for his bucket of cookies this morning. Carol LOVES to bake and makes the best sugar cookies you could imagine. And Ole, who is the infamous Cookie Monster (someday I'll tell you how he got THAT name) trades her homemade wine for sugar cookies. Carol LOVES his wine. So Ole had all these things on his mind, followed the dogs out of the house, loaded them in the truck and took off. About an hour later I got a phone call - "Is there a gym bag sitting on the chair by the back door?" Yup - there was Ole's gym bag on the chair! So he drove all the way home (12 miles), picked up his gym bag and drove the 12 miles back to the gym. I guess I'll have to put another thing on MY list of things on How to Take Care of Ole. If I don't see to it that he's got his fire pager and his cell phone hooked to his belt when he leaves the house he will forget them. Now I guess I'll have to hang his gym bag on his shoulder before he goes out of the house.

Oh, well, it's nice to know he needs me.

The Snake Handling Minister and Smoking Ole

Ole and I went to a funeral yesterday. The father of a good friend of ours died at the age of 89. He was sitting at a table looking at a photo album with his wife and some friends who were visiting and he just fell over dead. Up to that point he hadn’t had any health problems. What a way to go – no laying around for that Norwegian farmer. I guess it was a burst aneurysm in his heart.

Anyway, it was an interesting funeral if funerals can be interesting. I didn’t think funerals like this took place anymore. It was at a little country church out in the middle of nowhere in a very Norwegian community. The church had been built in 1895, and with the exception of a couple of additions such as an enlarged entry and a large dining room, the original church was pretty much intact.


There had been some updating in the sanctuary, such as lighting, etc. But the original alter was still there, which was extremely ornate and beautiful, along with some of the original lights fixtures. The light fixtures really caught my eye, as they were wrought iron chandeliers that hung from the ceiling each holding six kerosene lamps that were lit. I wish that you could get good look at them, but they don’t show up in this picture, although you can get an idea of what the alter looked like.

Then there was the minister – who still wears the ruffled clerical collar like they used to back in the “olden days.” He was a real fire and brimstone minister, at times speaking in an extremely loud tone of voice and holding his arms skyward. I almost expected him to reach in a box and pull out snakes to handle or something. It was almost that kind of a funeral service.


Then it came to communion, which I’ve never seen done at a funeral before either. At least not at a Lutheran funeral. Instead of communion wafers there were actual loaves of unleavened bread, which were broken in pieces and a piece given to each participant. And a communal silver chalice was used – not the little individual plastics cups. Sorry – but Ole and I didn’t participate because of all the flu going around right now. Just call us germaphobics, but no thanks.

Then of course, there was the big dinner served following the service. You could tell it was a Norwegian community due to the mountains of food that were available – all homemade, nothing store bought. And again you could tell it was a Norwegian community because even though you had your plate loaded with food hanging over the edges the ladies would come around and try to force more food on you. “Come on and eat some more, then.” No wonder they’re all round with rosie glowing cheeks. You couldn’t empty your coffee cup before someone was there filling it again with very stout black coffee, strong enough to eat the silver plating right off your spoon.

So that was the way the morning and early afternoon were spent. Funny, how you can do nothing strenuous and come home exhausted, so that meant a nap in my future. The grand doggers wouldn’t let Ole take a nap because they had been shut up all morning and were raring to go. I’m glad they like Ole better than me in that situation.

Then Ole got a call from Dick that the fire department was having a practice burn last night. Somebody had donated an old house out in the country that they wanted taken down because it was taking up space that they could be farming. So Ole went on his first fire run last night. Have I mentioned that Ole is a volunteer fireman? He was so excited about this drill.

The officers of the fire department went out ahead of the trucks and started the house on fire (bunch of fire bugs). When it was going good they called the fire in and the rest of the guys had to get the trucks going and find the address out in the country. Ole said by the time they got there the fire was hot and unfortunately the wind had come up. When they started this whole thing a 6 p.m. there was no wind. Of course the grass around the old house was tall and dry, and the tree claim along one side of the property was old and rotten with lots of dead trees. So I’m sure you can see what happened next. Ole and his nozzle man were out trying to put water on some of the old trees that had started on fire when he noticed that the nozzle guy’s fire jacket had started to smoke due to the intense heat of all the dry stuff around. Then Dick came up behind Ole and told him that HIS gear was starting to smoke too! So they each got doused with the fire hoses to cool their gear down. So I could have had smoked Ole by the time he got home. Hmmm – wonder if it was apple wood – that always makes the best flavor for smoked stuff. Anyway it was 12:30 before he got home last night. They got all the fires out, had to bring the trucks back to the station, scrub and dry all the hoses and get everything ready in case there was a real fire during the night.

So Ole’s not real energetic this morning – just a bit on the pooped side. And Daisy’s beside herself because she’s ready to get at ‘em but all Grandpa wants to do is sit and drink coffee.

I Speak of Many Things

First of all I have to tell you that this really made my day. You really need to go over to The Old Grey Poet's page and watch his YouTube video - The Mean Kitty Song. Even if you're not a cat lover I'm sure you'll appreciate how true this song is.

Second - okay - I deserve 40 lashes with a chunk of wet lutefisk. I haven't written in my blog since last Wednesday. I can't decide whether I've been that busy or I just haven't had anything to write about. You pick - one excuse is as good as another to me, ya know.

Ole and I have been quite busy though. He and I were asked to head up the committee to do all the landscaping around a columbarium that our church has installed in the cemetery. It's been a lot of work, but also a lot of fun, and we've been fortunate in the fact that we've had the cooperation of the other members of the committee. Sometimes that doesn't happen, you know. People have a tendency to want their own ideas used and it may not be to the liking of the majority. But then maybe it's because in a lot of things I haven't given them a choice, I've just TOLD them what needed to be done and they did it. Then maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm the only female on the committee - forty years of marriage to Ole has taught me a thing or two about manipulating and conniving (snicker.)

Well, anyway, for those of you that may not know, a columbarium is a large stone (in our case Minnesota granite) facility that stores the urns that ashes are put in when you are cremated. The pastor wants the columbarium landscaping to be completed by September 23rd so that it can be dedicated. I'm sure we can pull it off by that time - after all I've got five men under my control to do all the hard labor and all I have to do is stand around and point my finger at what goes where. Sound like a plan to you?

So have you ever thought about what you want done with your remains? Ole and I have talked about that issue a number of times over the last years, and more so now that we're working on this project. Ole is an organ donner (is that spelled right?) and has always stated that he wants to be cremated. I guess we'll have to see how many organs he donates first - his urn might end up on the small side because he's a pretty healthy Finlander. He's also stated that he wants someone to ride his Harley down the highway and let his ashes blow out going down the road. He doesn't have any hair to let the wind blow through now when he's riding his bike, so he says at least he wants the wind to blow through his ashes.

Me? I think I want to be cremated too. And I don't think I want an open casket at my funeral. The thought of all those people parading by saying, "Oh, doesn't she look terrible," would make me turn over in my casket. That ought to make them sit up and take notice, huh? At that point I'm dead, People - you expect me to look beautiful or something? You know how those little old ladies are that walk by and criticize the undertaker's work. Yeah - go blow it out somebody else's horn, why don't you. I swear a lot of those little old ladies come for the funeral lunch, not because they knew the person very well.

And speaking of a funeral lunch - around here there are certain staples of that lunch. There's always hot dish (never casseroles) of one kind or another. Hamburger hot dish and tuna hot dish are regulars, and then there's the dead spread sandwiches. You know the kind - ground spam mixed with pickles and mayonnaise spread on a half a bun. Or cheese whiz with a slice of green olive in the center. And certainly please don't forget the red jello with bananas. It wouldn't be a funeral lunch without that.

Now back to the columbarium. As Ole and I were working over at the cemetery last week, I took the occasion to walk through the cemetery and look at all the head stones. I've been fascinated with old cemeteries for a long time. I think that started when I got into genealogy - those old tombstones can tell some stories and contain a lot of information.

Our cemetery (Lutheran) was started in 1901 and the first burial took place then. It was a little 5-month old baby named Leonard Schroeder. Quite close to this grave, which is under a huge pine tree, are five more white marble stones, all dated between 1904 and 1910. They belong to five children of varying ages all from the same family. Can you imagine losing five children within six years? Actually there are quite a few children under the age of 10 and numerous infants buried in this cemetery. I guess that was the norm back in those days. And then there was the era when the Spanish flu moved through. It was very evident in the cemetery that there were very few families that were untouched by that. That took place as World War I was winding down about 1918-1919. My mother had an older brother who succumbed to the Spanish Flu but managed to overcome it somehow. Must have been that good strong Swedish stock.

Then down the road a mile and a half is Elmwood Cemetery started in 1881. A man named Heinrich Krabbenhoft (32), was one of the first settlers in this area. When he died in the winter of 1881 there was no cemetery in the area. So a straw stack on his farm was burned to thaw out the ground and he was buried there. His grave stone is currently in the center of Elmwood Cemetery, very old and moss covered and difficult to read.

Elmwood Cemetery installed a columbarium about a year before our cemetery did, but so far nobody occupies any of the cripts. Must be because there's no landscaping around it (snicker). It's just a huge block of red granite standing out in the middle of a grassy area. Ours will be much prettier (neener, neener).