Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Once Upon a Time


Do you know the difference between a Fairy Tale and a Sea Story? You don’t? Well, grab yourself a cup of coffee, make yourself comfortable and get ready for a bit of education here.

A Fairy Tale always starts out with “Once upon a time” and ends with “And they all lived happily ever after.” A Sea Story always starts out with “Now this ain’t no shit” and ends with “And we all went out and got all drunked up.” And everything else in between is the same. Now, Ole, having been a sailor in his lifetime, and having spent thirty plus years in sales can spin yarns with the best of them. Me? I’m not quite so good at it.

A number of years ago when I was deeply engrossed in genealogy research on the Swedish side of my family I came across a very interesting entry in one of the Swedish archives. I was following my mother’s maternal family and this is what I found:

Once upon a time, back in the days when the Vikings were the scourge of the world and busy trying to take over the British Isles, there was a castle built in southwestern Sweden in the Gotland area. In this castle there was a coat of arms with a hand cut off at the wrist and dripping blood. This was in honor of an old-time Swedish minor king (my ancestor) who was in a race to northern Scotland. There were two long-boats in the race, and whoever first laid hand on the soil of that country would be the king of that area. My ancestor was losing the race by just a little bit and couldn’t seem to catch the other boat. So – he took out his sword, chopped off his left hand and threw it on shore. Thus he became king of that northern area of Scotland.

And then all the Vikings went out and got all drunked up to celebrate their victory and to kill the king’s pain!!

Supposedly this took place back in the 800s AD. That’s a long time ago, Folks, and the Vikings were known to be a pretty wild and woolly bunch, so I wouldn’t put something like this past them to accomplish their goal.

After reading through my father’s family history, I think everybody and his brother was the king of something or other. His family history has actually been traced back to the days of the Vikings, earliest entry being 850 AD. Apparently I come from a long line of bad people. For example some of the names – Eric Haroldson nicknamed Eric the Bloodaxe (sounds creepy, huh). Harold the Black, who was at one point the king of the Isle of Man and died in 1040. There was a little guy by the name of Olav Bitling, nicknamed Dwarf, died 1153. He was apparently quite a thug and chopped up a lot of folks back then. As time went on the names weren’t quite so descriptive and the people seemed to be less violent.

So – Fairy Tale or Sea Story? You pick.




7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha! The truth about Sea Stories and faery Tales! I like the Sea Stories better. LOL. My Dad spent a number of yrs in the navy and he too told us of Sea Stories. It was allot of fun! Bloody hand, eh thats going a bit far in my book to win but hey it worked right? LOL.

Anonymous said...

Jim says 'Sea Story'...since he was in the Navy for 23 years, ha!

BTW - I just saw your comment over at John Baileys, and I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that we don't have a blog. We started reading a little bit of your blog, when you were on your wonderful vacation. I think you had mentioned traveling at some point on Johns. Anyways - we loved your photos and posts from this summer. Every once in a while I get to catch up on a few blogs that I don't view daily.

Very nice to meet you. We're from NY (Hudson Valley area). I didn't know how to contact you, other than post a comment. I'd give you my e-mail address if I knew where to send it.

Kate and Jim

Anonymous said...

Maybe one day there will be a sitcom about those whacky hand-chopping-off Vikings. Now that would be quite a weekly sea story! Hey - they're doing caveguys why not Hagar goes to the boob tube? See you soon!

art sez: said...

i was once king of the road, so does that count? i say sea stories!! they are more gruesome!! hehehe!!

Anonymous said...

Never mess with a Viking. Ever. Real or imaginary.

Anonymous said...

My dad was in the Navy for years, so I better say Sea Story!

Anonymous said...

ooo Eric the Bloodaxe. I really like that name. I vote both!